The most difficult decision I've ever made
Many of my readers will know that I have had a mortgage in place since about February this year. It was exciting and a great feeling to finally have it, especially after all the hurdles I had to go through to get there. It took me many attempts to get there and I made several sacrifices, but I got there in the end.
However, I often had mixed thoughts about my mortgage. A lot of the time I kept on thinking about what life would be like with a house of my own and how wonderful it would be. But I kept on suppressing the thought that I could no longer guarantee that I'd be able to do what I want to do in terms of location and job and that I felt that I could hold my job until then.
Alas, in October 2017, 3 weeks before I moved in, I said to myself enough is enough. I gave up the good, well-paid job that was taking all of the remaining stamina and mental energy I have, and as a result, threw in the towel on the mortgage. It was a sad side effect that the mortgage had to go because I couldn't hold the job down, especially saying as I'd be able to pay at least 1 year's mortgage without a job.
The job wasn't bad, it was actually a good job, it was just not what I wanted at the time. The truth is I really want to be a teacher.
But I also have to consider that once I get into teacher training and through it, do I really want to live in that same place? My life might change so much by then yet I'd be rooted down to this place for at least another year and a half (a side effect of one of the deals I have to take to get my mortgage is that I can't sell until 3 years after purchase are up).
I feel like it could have been the wrong decision, but I'm not thinking that because of what I've said above - it was a decision that will work out for the better in the future.
In the future, I'm hoping I can look back on this and realise it was nothing. My aim to become a teacher in East Lothian at some point is still the only goal on my mind at the moment.