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Jamie Balfour'sPersonal blog

With Pokémon Sun and Moon just around the corner, I felt that it was high time that I compiled a top ten list of the worst Pokémon in terms of design. Remember, this is opinion based. Disagree all you like but it will not change the fact that this is my opinion.

I think my list does pretty much summarise the worst designs and names, and I think it goes to show just how bad it's getting over time. My list is only the top ten, I'd like to say that other Pokémon deserve to be in here too such as Magmortar, Diggersby, Probopass and Binacle. 

#10 - Escavalier

Escavalier

I'm just not a fan of either Escavalier or Accelgor. Escavalier (for those who do not know, cavalier is French for a knight or mounted warrior) is the combination of a cavalier and Excalibur (King Arthur's sword). The Pokémon has two jousting lances, which just look ridiculous in the first place, and is encased in armour not too unlike that which cavaliers would have worn. Just silly and uncreative. 

#9 - Machop, Machoke and Machamp

Machoke

These humanoid Pokémon really make me angry and always have. The very fact is they are based entirely on humans. The name is even pathetic since macho is a word in English which just means 'tough'. They even wear a pair of underwear and have slick back hair. All in all, Machoke is my least favourite of this family since it really does resemble a human far too much.

#8 - Purugly

Purugly

I hate cat-like Pokémon in general since all of them are incredibly boring. None quite make it to the same ranks as Purugly. It's name is just atrocious; a terrible combination of pur (like a cat) and ugly. And it is ugly. This Pokémon shows absolutely no signs of being unique or freshness and really just adds another silly cat Pokémon.

#7 - Cofagrigus

Cofagrigus

A sarcophagus/coffin Pokémon?! In fact, a possessed coffin now makes a Pokémon. I hate the pre-evolution, Yamask, just as much as this, but I pick on this because firstly, it looks childish and pathetic and secondly because this is just pure laziness. I imagine this all the time to reside in Gobi's Valley in Banjo-Kazooie back on the N64, but not in Pokémon.

#6 - Garbodor

Garbodor

Okay, a pile of rubbish is now a Pokémon?! This Pokémon is trash. It's design is horrible. It looks like a combination of a bin liner (garbage bag) and rubbish that's spewing out of it. It's name is terrible too: a combination of garbage and odour. 

I can tell you, I would never be a proud owner having this pile of rubbish as my Pokémon.

#5 - Klinklang

Klinklang

A rip off of the original Magnemite family but with an even worse design. Magnemite and co are one of those families who really look awful, but Klinklang and just feel like somebody thought "you know what, we'll rip of the crappy Magnemite family and make a new range of crappy Pokémon". 

Klinklang is a terrible name too - a combination of klink and klang, two sounds associated with metal hitting together. 

#4 - Chandelure

Chandelure

A fecking possessed chandelier?! Really just when you didn't think it could get any worse (well you probably did since you are reading towards the worst Pokémon design ever) we get Chandelure. This Pokémon's name is a combination of chandelier and lure since being a Ghost-type Pokémon it lures others. Who enjoys fighting using a chandelier then?! 

This Pokémon's typing is great since Fire and Ghost is a rare combo, but because of it's ugly design (and it's family aren't any better) I just refuse to use it.

#3 - Klefki

Klefki

Another 'possessed object Pokémon'. Yeah right! Game Freak once again ran out of ideas and when one of the creators of these Pokémon got into his car and started the ignition suddenly came up with the idea that we could really use a keychain Pokémon. No bleeding way. 

Game Freak still brought it in and we now have our third possessed Pokémon on the list. Another absolute waster of a Pokémon. 

#2 - Honedge

Honedge

Alas, Game Freak, the creator of some of the most successful games ever, decides to continue to shoot itself on the foot with the introduction of Honedge. This is one of the worst names ever. Hone, which literally means to refine or sharpen in the case of a blade, mixed with edge, specifically talking about the edge of the blade. It's evolution's names are just as bad. The name Doublade (double blade) and Aegislash (Aegis was the name of Zeus' shield in Greek Mythology and slash mixed into one). 

Anyway, once again we have another 'possessed object Pokémon'. This is another one the developers thought to look to the real world and just cheaply use an object and claim it to be possessed.

#1 - Vanilluxe

Vanilluxe

Woohoo! Number 1! 

I absolutely hate Vanilluxe. This Pokémon has the most childish design of all Pokémon, fails to introduce anything non-real world, and is just beyond belief pure lazy. I despise this Pokémon, and not just because it's an Ice Pokémon, but because this Pokémon is just awful. The name, which appears to be a combination of both vanilla and deluxe, is pathetic. "I'll have a deluxe vanilla ice cream please". Deluxe appears to have been stuck in here also since this is a tertiary evolution, making it the 'deluxe model of the family'.

Who would want to fight using an ice cream?! And how on earth is it so powerful; Vanilluxe has the highest base stat of any non-legendary Ice-typed Pokémon?! 

It's design is awful, obviously appearing to be like an ice cream cone with two wafers in it's head and then a giant cone shape for holding at the bottom. Honestly, when I saw this Pokémon I laughed and shed a tear at the same time - I literally froze and double-checked what I had seen was correct.

I'd like to thank Calum for unintentionally suggesting I write this post.

Posted by jamiebalfour04 in Gaming
pokemon
calum
pokémon
worst
designs
2016
sun
moon
generation
7
vii
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